Reality Bites!
Kuala Lumpur, 19 January 2008

Today is Saturday. Weekend is a dilemmatic time for me. I love it because then I have time to rest, clean the house, do some shopping and lingering for the whole day long. But I also hate it because then and only then I feel the loneliness most. Every evening when I open the door of my dark apartment I already feel the loneliness is grabbing me. But at least I worked during the day and spent quality time with my laptop and my friends at the office. During the weekend, the loneliness got worsened because I have to spend the whole 2 days in a row alone.

Today I went to Taman Tasik Perdana with Dorien. It was quite good because then I have something to do during the day. the park is huge and beautiful. It consisted of the Lake Garden [Taman Perdana], Dr. Tun Abdul Razak Memorial Park, Butterfly Park [Taman Rama-Rama], Bird Park [Taman Burung], Islamic Park, Orchid Park [Taman Orkid] and Hibiscus Park [Taman Bunga Raya]. We didn’t enter the bird park because the ticket is RM 35. That is just too much. We didn’t enter the butterfly park either because the ticket was RM 17. We went to Taman Orkid and Taman Bunga Raya because the ticket was more reasonable, only RM 1. And indeed it was a beautiful lush place. We can even spot some monkeys on the trees! It is wonderful that Malaysia preserve such a huge jungle in the heart of the city. The park is really in the city. It’s near Padang Merdeka and we can walk up to the Pasar Seni. I took some pictures of the orchid and hibiscus in the park. My uncle will love it!

Since it was a huge park, and we walked from one end to another. My feet hurt as soon as I came home. And then again, the loneliness bit me. I slept to kill time [I was tired anyway] and woke up at 5 PM and rushed myself to go and get my laundry. Every time I am home, I feel so lonely. This is the reality I have to face for the rest of the year [maybe more!]. It bites! Reality really bites me this time. The fact that I had a good time last night in Pasar Malam across the street or the park which was very much of a beauty doesn’t really comfort me. I miss my family. My husband. My daughter. My house. The streets of my city. Everything! The fact that I have much more facility here [except the TV] doesn’t really cast the lonely feeling away. Maybe I should get a TV, so that I can watch something. I only brought 2 books from Indonesia and all finished within 2 weeks of my stay here. I regret myself that I didn’t bring more books with me. Maybe a TV is a good idea. Maybe I should buy a cheap one next month regardless the fact that I can always survive without TV. Or I should also consider to register at one fitness center nearby so that I can spend the whole afternoon working out and coming home feeling so exhausted and go straight to bed. Well, I can always work on the proposal besides cleaning the apartment over the weekend though… hahaha! That sounds pathetic, right?

So, to spend the rest of the evening, I managed pamper myself by scrubbing my whole body. Having such a long and clean bath. As long as I could. This is also a bit pathetic for me. And I’m still thinking of what should I do tomorrow. It’s Sunday. I may clean the house in the morning, have a long bath and wash my hair. Dry up my hair and flatten it smoothly, go and get something for lunch. But then again the late afternoon and the evening will be spent full of emptiness. Fffiuhhhh…. Reality DOES bite!

About being an Indonesian expat in Malaysia

Last week I decided to open a bank account for my payroll needs. So, I went to the nearest regional bank to process a new account opening. The customer service recognized me as a foreigner and was asking for my passport. Luckily, Val had already told me what to bring, so I was fully prepared with my expat ID card, passport and Letter of Appointment from my institution. I handed my passport and my expat ID card to her. So, the customer service was asking a lot of questions and examining my passport until the smallest details. She was also checking all the visas in it, and said that I have been quite to some places in Asia. I just smiled. Then, she was asking about the company I work with, the address, the field of work, designation and others. I answered all of her questions. She was not really speaking nicely while asking questions and I felt more like I was being interrogated. She called to my office to reconfirm about my status in the institution. She was also looking to the passport picture and tried to compare with my real look several times. From her expression, I could see that she doubted me. She asked why do I want to open a bank account. Well, that’s funny, I thought, of course I want to have my salary posted in that account! Later on, she asked for the document from the institution. So, I handed her my LoA where my salary is stated. Then soon after she saw the amount of my salary, she started to speak nicer to me and even put a smile on her face. This was just ridiculous for me, but I said nothing. Just smiled [again].

Maybe she figured out my thought, because soon after, she explained, “It is very rarely to see Indonesian expatriate here in Malaysia. Especially in a such young age like you. Most of Indonesians are domestic worker or construction worker. And you’ve got a good amount of payment here. You must be a very important person and well-selected one. I’m impressed!” Well, so am I! I am totally impressed [in a bad way] with her statement. Seemed like, in her head, the only room for Indonesian is to be domestic worker or construction worker! That is quite an inhuman statement, I guess. But then again, I said nothing. Just smiled [again]. I felt like a champion after I completed the whole process.

When I told my friends in the office about this, they were all upset. Discrimination. That was the first word that came out. Well, it was some sort of discrimination and stereotyping one nationality. But at the end of the day I was glad I had that experience. At least I showed the people in that bank that Indonesians are not always domestic worker or construction worker in Malaysia.

The Loneliest Birthday Ever!

This is just the loneliest birthday I've ever had in my life....

I am all alone in this foreign country with tons of works to do; had a SMS fight with my husband; miss my daughter so much; feel deserted and unappreciated...

I feel like breaking down and cry at anytime now. Thank God, this loads of work is saving me...!

Well, I'm a workaholic after all and it's going to be like that forever...